The Big Picture

So I've been living here in Santa Barbara for almost 6 months...how fast the time goes! I really was blessed to have had the opportunity to run a salon all by my lonesome. It was perfect timing actually because I quickly adjusted to the responsibilities of it all, while still exploring and experiencing Santa Barbara's way of life. It was such a great experience, however, as with everything in life, seasons change and so do circumstances. The best thing one can do is embrace change because it's going to happen regardless, so might as well enjoy the ride, right!? Anyways, whenever I start feeling thoughts of fear creep up inside of me because I don't know what is next, I have to constantly remind myself that God has everything lined up already, even if I can't see it yet! We don't always understand God's methods, but He sees the big picture. All of the pieces have to fit together at the perfect time! When it's His timing, nothing can stop it. So once again, I'm trying to learn to trust His timing and let Him work out the plan for my life. Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your your ways my ways," declares the Lord." "As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." God knows best! And then after I have this realization, a spark of adventure rises up in me. "the Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?" Psalm 27:1 I face two options, the "safe" road, which is warm and comfortable...risk less; or the "impulsive" road, where I step out in faith and make a change! Sure it's not safe...but what is??? God can move mountains and He's got my back. Therefore, I think I'm going to take on this new adventure and step up to the challenge. If all goes well, I will soon be working in my very own salon!

NEXT CHAPTER FINALLY

I  CAN NOW SAY THAT MY CHANGE HAS ARRIVED...BEAUTIFUL SANTA BARBARA CALIFORNIA IS NOW MY HOME!  I FOUND MY JEWEL...A CUTE LIL BUNGALOW ABOUT 4 BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE BEACH AND FROM MY SALON.  THERE IS A GREAT MEXICAN FOOD RESTAURANT, 2 GREAT BARS, A CARWASH, GAS STATION, SEVEN-ELEVEN, LIQUOR STORE AND GROCERY STORE ON MY BLOCK!  NEED I SAY MORE...KNOW YOU ARE JEALOUS! LOL!  TOO BAD NOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE TRYING TO SHACK IT UP WITH ME.  ALL I CAN SAY AT THIS POINT, IS THAT I AM BLESSED!  GOD IS GOOD!  I'M LOVING THIS CHAPTER SO FAR!

IT'S ALL STILL A MYSTERY TO ME

SO IT SEEMS THAT THERE ARE STILL ALOT OF THINGS THAT HAVE YET TO BE DISCOVERED.  BUT, I AM SO EXCITED FOR CHANGE AND WANT TO EMBRACE NOT KNOWING EVERY DETAIL!  THIS IS HARD FOR ME BECAUSE ANXIETY KEEPS CREEPING INTO MY MIND.  I NEED TO REMEMBER THAT WORRYING GETS NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED.  I KNOW WHERE I'M HEADING AND NOW I JUST NEED TO LET IT ALL FALL INTO PLACE!  SANTA BARBARA IS GOING TO BE A WHOLE NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND IT'S GOING TO BE AMAZING!!! IF I CAN JUST LEARN TO SURRENDER CONTROL...ALL IS WELL!  ALL OF THIS MYSTERY IS CHANGING ME. 

A NEW CHAPTER

So after a long time of waiting and praying, I finally have gotten some answers!  I have been desperately wanting change, but, I knew that I just needed to be patient and wait for God's timing.  This was no easy task and I have found it to be extremely frustrating because I usually always have some kind of goal or "plan" that I am working towards. But, I definitely knew not to act on anything impulsively, which made me rely on God that much more!  Maybe that was the whole point?  But, at any rate, it looks like God is finally turning the page for me and it's a new chapter...FINALLY!

My Epiphany!

SO I DECIDED NOT TO MAKE A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR SINCE I NEVER FULFILLED LAST YEARS...I STILL HAVE YET TO GET MY PASSPORT!  I DID PICK UP THE FORMS FOR IT LAST YEAR, BUT I STILL HAVE YET TO FILL THEM OUT!  ANYWAYS, AS THE CLOCK STROKE 12:00 ON NEW YEARS, I MADE A MENTAL NOTE TO TAKE EACH DAY OF 2009, ONE DAY AT A TIME.  I REALLY WANT TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT AND THIS IS EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME TO DO BECAUSE I HAVE WAY TOO GOOD OF A MEMORY TO NOT CONSTANTLY BE REFLECTING ON THE PAST AND IT IS SUPER DIFFICULT FOR ME TO NOT THINK ABOUT MY FUTURE BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS SETTING GOALS.  WITH THAT SAID, I HAVE TRULY BEEN MAKING A HUGE ATTEMPT TO JUST LIVE IN THE PRESENT!  SO, MY RECENT EPIPHANY IS THIS, I JUST REALIZED YESTERDAY THAT THE HARDEST TIME OF THE DAY FOR ME TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT, IS WHEN I TRY TO SLEEP.  I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TIME FALLING ASLEEP AND THE TIMES THAT I DON'T I END UP WAKING UP A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER WITH MY MIND FLOODED WITH THOUGHTS!  I HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE I CAN REMEMBER.  IT REALLY SUCKS TO BE 8 YEARS OLD AND HAVE YOUR MIND ON OVERLOAD.  ANYWAYS, I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT I AM A "LIGHT" SLEEPER WHO HAS A MIND THAT NEVER FULLY SHUTS OFF.  BUT, YESTERDAY AS I LAYED IN BED I REALIZED THAT ALL OF THIS THINKING THAT I DO, IN ALL ACTUALITY, IS ANXIETY!  IT HAD NEVER OCCURRED TO ME BEFORE.  SO, I WENT TO WORK AND TALKED TO MY COWORKER AND A CLIENT OF MINE ABOUT IT AND THEY BOTH GAVE ME SOME GREAT INSIGHT.  ONE TOLD ME THAT I NEED TO START STRETCHING BEFORE I GO TO BED AND THEN START TO FOCUS IN ON MY BREATHING AS I WIND DOWN AND ONCE I MAKE THIS A HABIT, IT WILL BE EASIER TO SLOW MY MIND DOWN.  MY CLIENT GAVE ME AN INTERESTING TWIST OF PERSPECTIVE ON MY ANXIOUS THOUGHTS BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT IT IS BETTER TO CARE ABOUT SOMETHING INTENSELY THAN TO NOT CARE AT ALL; THOSE WHO DON'T CARE AT ALL HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR AND RARELY ACCOMPLISH MUCH.  I JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CARE IN A HEALTHIER WAY AND TO LIVE DAY BY DAY...WHY WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, RIGHT!?

THE SUN HAS SET!

So as this year comes to a close, I watch the sun set...literally and metaphorically!  As I drove in my car(which is all too often) I watched the beautiful sunset that God painted across the horizon and as my relationship with Luke(the sunshine in my life) fades away, I realize how beautiful love truly is.  God is constantly reminding me that although the sun may fade away, tomorrow brings a brand new sunrise!  I am ever grateful for this reality.  I am reminded time and time again, that we will never know what tomorrow may bring and with this truth that I hold on to, I anticipate an exhilirating 2009!  Only God knows what is next!

CLARITY

So as I sit here and contemplate about our country's recession, I quickly turn my focus on to what really matters in life.  Even though the tv is blaring about the crashing stock market and the newspapers have headlines of despair; I'm constantly reminding myself to not have fear.  I can confidently have a life full of hope and peace of mind because God has all of this under His control!  Don't get me wrong, when you look around and see sadness and destruction, it can be a harsh reality.  So, that is when I must find all of the faith that I can muster and look up!  I completely have to trust that God will make it all work out in the end.  This picture of this amazing rock formation helps me gain clarity...God can make something beautiful even out of rock.  He will always make a way and it just makes perfect sense.  I will always marvel at his incredible beauty!  Times are tough, but God is tougher!