NEXT CHAPTER FINALLY

I  CAN NOW SAY THAT MY CHANGE HAS ARRIVED...BEAUTIFUL SANTA BARBARA CALIFORNIA IS NOW MY HOME!  I FOUND MY JEWEL...A CUTE LIL BUNGALOW ABOUT 4 BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE BEACH AND FROM MY SALON.  THERE IS A GREAT MEXICAN FOOD RESTAURANT, 2 GREAT BARS, A CARWASH, GAS STATION, SEVEN-ELEVEN, LIQUOR STORE AND GROCERY STORE ON MY BLOCK!  NEED I SAY MORE...KNOW YOU ARE JEALOUS! LOL!  TOO BAD NOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE TRYING TO SHACK IT UP WITH ME.  ALL I CAN SAY AT THIS POINT, IS THAT I AM BLESSED!  GOD IS GOOD!  I'M LOVING THIS CHAPTER SO FAR!

IT'S ALL STILL A MYSTERY TO ME

SO IT SEEMS THAT THERE ARE STILL ALOT OF THINGS THAT HAVE YET TO BE DISCOVERED.  BUT, I AM SO EXCITED FOR CHANGE AND WANT TO EMBRACE NOT KNOWING EVERY DETAIL!  THIS IS HARD FOR ME BECAUSE ANXIETY KEEPS CREEPING INTO MY MIND.  I NEED TO REMEMBER THAT WORRYING GETS NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED.  I KNOW WHERE I'M HEADING AND NOW I JUST NEED TO LET IT ALL FALL INTO PLACE!  SANTA BARBARA IS GOING TO BE A WHOLE NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND IT'S GOING TO BE AMAZING!!! IF I CAN JUST LEARN TO SURRENDER CONTROL...ALL IS WELL!  ALL OF THIS MYSTERY IS CHANGING ME. 

A NEW CHAPTER

So after a long time of waiting and praying, I finally have gotten some answers!  I have been desperately wanting change, but, I knew that I just needed to be patient and wait for God's timing.  This was no easy task and I have found it to be extremely frustrating because I usually always have some kind of goal or "plan" that I am working towards. But, I definitely knew not to act on anything impulsively, which made me rely on God that much more!  Maybe that was the whole point?  But, at any rate, it looks like God is finally turning the page for me and it's a new chapter...FINALLY!

My Epiphany!

SO I DECIDED NOT TO MAKE A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR SINCE I NEVER FULFILLED LAST YEARS...I STILL HAVE YET TO GET MY PASSPORT!  I DID PICK UP THE FORMS FOR IT LAST YEAR, BUT I STILL HAVE YET TO FILL THEM OUT!  ANYWAYS, AS THE CLOCK STROKE 12:00 ON NEW YEARS, I MADE A MENTAL NOTE TO TAKE EACH DAY OF 2009, ONE DAY AT A TIME.  I REALLY WANT TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT AND THIS IS EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME TO DO BECAUSE I HAVE WAY TOO GOOD OF A MEMORY TO NOT CONSTANTLY BE REFLECTING ON THE PAST AND IT IS SUPER DIFFICULT FOR ME TO NOT THINK ABOUT MY FUTURE BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS SETTING GOALS.  WITH THAT SAID, I HAVE TRULY BEEN MAKING A HUGE ATTEMPT TO JUST LIVE IN THE PRESENT!  SO, MY RECENT EPIPHANY IS THIS, I JUST REALIZED YESTERDAY THAT THE HARDEST TIME OF THE DAY FOR ME TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT, IS WHEN I TRY TO SLEEP.  I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TIME FALLING ASLEEP AND THE TIMES THAT I DON'T I END UP WAKING UP A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER WITH MY MIND FLOODED WITH THOUGHTS!  I HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE I CAN REMEMBER.  IT REALLY SUCKS TO BE 8 YEARS OLD AND HAVE YOUR MIND ON OVERLOAD.  ANYWAYS, I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT I AM A "LIGHT" SLEEPER WHO HAS A MIND THAT NEVER FULLY SHUTS OFF.  BUT, YESTERDAY AS I LAYED IN BED I REALIZED THAT ALL OF THIS THINKING THAT I DO, IN ALL ACTUALITY, IS ANXIETY!  IT HAD NEVER OCCURRED TO ME BEFORE.  SO, I WENT TO WORK AND TALKED TO MY COWORKER AND A CLIENT OF MINE ABOUT IT AND THEY BOTH GAVE ME SOME GREAT INSIGHT.  ONE TOLD ME THAT I NEED TO START STRETCHING BEFORE I GO TO BED AND THEN START TO FOCUS IN ON MY BREATHING AS I WIND DOWN AND ONCE I MAKE THIS A HABIT, IT WILL BE EASIER TO SLOW MY MIND DOWN.  MY CLIENT GAVE ME AN INTERESTING TWIST OF PERSPECTIVE ON MY ANXIOUS THOUGHTS BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT IT IS BETTER TO CARE ABOUT SOMETHING INTENSELY THAN TO NOT CARE AT ALL; THOSE WHO DON'T CARE AT ALL HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR AND RARELY ACCOMPLISH MUCH.  I JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CARE IN A HEALTHIER WAY AND TO LIVE DAY BY DAY...WHY WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, RIGHT!?

THE SUN HAS SET!

So as this year comes to a close, I watch the sun set...literally and metaphorically!  As I drove in my car(which is all too often) I watched the beautiful sunset that God painted across the horizon and as my relationship with Luke(the sunshine in my life) fades away, I realize how beautiful love truly is.  God is constantly reminding me that although the sun may fade away, tomorrow brings a brand new sunrise!  I am ever grateful for this reality.  I am reminded time and time again, that we will never know what tomorrow may bring and with this truth that I hold on to, I anticipate an exhilirating 2009!  Only God knows what is next!

CLARITY

So as I sit here and contemplate about our country's recession, I quickly turn my focus on to what really matters in life.  Even though the tv is blaring about the crashing stock market and the newspapers have headlines of despair; I'm constantly reminding myself to not have fear.  I can confidently have a life full of hope and peace of mind because God has all of this under His control!  Don't get me wrong, when you look around and see sadness and destruction, it can be a harsh reality.  So, that is when I must find all of the faith that I can muster and look up!  I completely have to trust that God will make it all work out in the end.  This picture of this amazing rock formation helps me gain clarity...God can make something beautiful even out of rock.  He will always make a way and it just makes perfect sense.  I will always marvel at his incredible beauty!  Times are tough, but God is tougher!

BEING AN "EXTRA!"

So as you know, I work at a salon in West Hollywood, called, Rudys Barbershop.  It happens to be in a really great location on Melrose Avenue.  That being said, alot of people like the vibe of the shop!  Anyways, Burger King decided that they would like to use our salon as a location site for one of their commercials.  The casting director asked me and one of my coworkers to be, "extras."  I reluctantly agreed.  However, once I was informed how much I would be getting paid, I became alot more flexible!lol!  

So, after a long day of pretty much sitting around and eating, and a little bit of being ordered around by the director.  I came to realize what the life of an "extra" consists of.  I must say, it made me feel pretty unproductive and ancy!  But, the best way to look at this experience is, it was probably one of the easiest ways that I've ever made money in a day and being able to hang out with 4 of my favorite coworkers all day long and eat limitless amounts of food, all in all, was a pretty good day!  But, this experience of being an "extra," makes me appreciate my career a whole lot more!